Read aloud

Today I completed a chore I have been putting off for six months. It took 15 minutes. I will learn nothing from this! 🐸

Before the Internet era, only the people in your neighborhood knew you were a moron. Now, everyone knows. Progress.

I have a friend whose arms and legs are covered in tattoos. He's been systematically removing them for three months now, sparing no expense and willing to endure further pain just to get rid of them. The thing is, six months ago, he was in an accident and was officially dead for 40 seconds until doc…

Women will never understand the simple joy that men get from simply existing. A man can come to a new city, wander around for hours, explore random streets, people-watch, and be completely fucking satisfied. Then a woman joins.

It happens, it happens to everyone. You will run into a friend who you are not happy to see and do not want to communicate. And he's like, "Oh, how are you?" And it is clear that he is not in a hurry, ready to chat for a long time. And you just don't care for it. But we are cultural people, we are fo…

«GTA6 has reached an estimate of 5million preorders»… It means, 5 million people bought the digital copy of a game that never even had a demo, at $100, just one gameplay trailer that was paid to watch, without even having any preorder bonus, without even knowing if the game isn't a fully bugged mess…

Who said friendship between a guy and a girl can't happen? My brother's friend, who he works with, sometimes comes over to our house with him during lunch breaks because we live nearby. Sometimes she stays overnight, and they sleep in separate beds. That's exactly the kind of friendship I'd like to…

There are about 200 million people in the world who, if Tim Cook stood up and announced that the next iPhone was going to be a turd on a stick, they'd still rush out and queue and buy it. And therefore, I trust Android buyers to be actually rational actors, and therefore the popularity of any Androi…

There are seven people in our department, three of whom are Gen Z. They all started with zero experience but picked up the job quickly. They perform just as well as their senior colleagues. They learn fast and have a shit-ton of energy. They’re happy to take on new projects and even pitch sensible i…

There is no more True Aikido left out there. In this day and age, what they call Aikido is when two morons try to kick each other in the jaw and break each other’s joints. Or whatever else they do these days; never seen it anyway. The True Aikido was completely different. It required that you defeat…