The Real Aikido
There is no more True Aikido left out there. In this day and age, what they call Aikido is when two morons try to kick each other in the jaw and break each other’s joints. Or whatever else they do these days; never seen it anyway.
The True Aikido was completely different. It required that you defeat your Enemy without using needless effort. In fact, you didn’t even have come face to face with your Enemy.
Say, for example, your Enemy is approaching you with an axe in order to chop the fuck out of you. But you live in such a dump that on his way there he slipps on a pile of shit and falls into it face down, two times in a row. He gets so frustrated that he chops off his own finger. So who wins? You win! Perhaps you will not even know about the victory, which is victory in it’s best form.
Or else, for example, the Enemy decided to curse you out or harass you in different ways. But your cell phone is turned off for non-payment and you don’t answer the door anymore because some salesmen were bothering you. So the Enemy gets tired of ringing your doorbell and banging on your door, and bites his hand all the way through out of frustration. Here, you win again.
Another example: say you had no other choice but to come out on a tatami, or whatever they call it. The Enemy comes out too, growling. But you just stand there, like, you know, all barefoot, red spots on your hands and sniffing from the cold. The Enemy looks at you and all of a sudden becomes nostalgic about his barefoot childhood, remembers his little creek, a small carp he caught, his bobber and his fishing rod. He is crying now. He is not in a fighting mood anymore and goes home. On the way home — just like when he was little — your Enemy buys himself an icecream. Than gets sick from it and dies.
As usual, you win again.
Unfortunately, there are no more Masters of the True Aikido left in this world. They all disappeared somewhere. Sometimes you look at one and think he seems like a Master. But he is not. He failed once, lowered his guard, relaxed, gave into a thought for a second. Now he’s been beaten ridiculed and slighted three times and is laying on the tatami with an axe in his back.
Folk wisdom
I will tell you, dear pal, a parable that was recently told to me by a mentally ill person. Once upon a time there was a little boy. And one day he was caught by an evil homicidal maniac. Caught, then, raped, but not killed, and left to die of hunger and cold in the city dump. The boy was dying, dying, and then suddenly he took and realized the whole truth about life. And as soon as he realized, he immediately began to glow with all might, just like the Apostle Paul. It all happened at night, and the local homeless, seeing the wonderful light, came out of their lair and found the boy. They took him, put him in the center of their hut and began to worship him as a living god. A week later, something clicked in the boy, and he stopped glowing. Well, the homeless, without further ado, raped him twice each and brutally killed poor bastard.
The moral of the parable is as follows: if this boy was engaged in kickboxing, he would have shoved killer maniac genital organ into his ass that night, and today, sitting in a cozy armchair, he would have read to himself his favorite Artist.
I completely agree
Today I suddenly realized that the world has become ruled by dummies and idiots. An educated, well-read, experienced person is now called «stuffy».
Apparently, it is unbearably difficult for the current generation to assimilate new information.
Intellectuals
Who is Sasha Grey?
— Sir Alexander Gray (English Sir Alexander Gray; January 6, 1882 — February 17, 1968)
Scottish economist, poet and translator.
— And why everyone jerks off to him? Have they gone crazy, or what?
«We have an intellectual society here, you know.
Girls, what do men take for flirting that is not?
1. When I fix my bra, I just fix it, not draw attention to my breasts. The fact is that bras can be damn uncomfortable, and sometimes the straps slip.
2. One day I said it was hot here, and the guy thought it was a hint to undress me. But the room really was +38 Celsius.
3. When I am friendly with customers. No, I'm not happy to see you. I pretend to be happy because I get paid for it. And don't ask for my phone number.
4. When I read or work on the computer, I put one hand on my chest. It's just that I'm comfortable with, and it's not a signal that you can pounce on me.
5. Politeness and eye contact. I work on a campus where 8 thousand people live. Guys, when they say hello, openly look into each other's eyes, but girls, when they say hello to guys, look away because they are afraid that they will be misunderstood.
6. I have a habit of biting my lips when I'm worried or thinking about something. A work colleague said that I'd better stop doing this, because all men think that I'm asking for a relationship in this way.
7. I was standing at the bus stop and adjusting my glasses. Some guy thought I was sending him signals. He stopped next to me, got out of the car and started asking for my phone number, offered me a ride. It's good that the bus soon pulled up, and he had to leave.
8. I love to joke, and for some reason guys perceive my jokes as interest. And I behave like this with women.
9. I like to dance, so I go to nightclubs. But the fact that I'm dancing in public doesn't give anyone the right to come up behind me and snuggle up to me.
10. I like cherry hygienic lipstick, I have been using it since I was 11 years old. And this does not mean that in this way I draw attention to my lips.
11. I was often harassed when I lived in Europe because I smiled when I met someone's eyes on the street. This is the way it is done in the USA, and in Europe, guys take my smile for showing interest in them. Just because I smiled at you doesn't mean I want you. With the Turks, everything is still more neglected. If I like any of his photos, he perceives it as a signal to get acquainted. No, buddy, I just liked this photo, not you as a man.
12. There was a time when I only went to Starbucks from coffee shops. There was a nice-looking coffee shop next to my new job, and I decided to go into it. The girl brought me a cup of coffee with a foam heart. I liked it, and I thought what a nice compliment, for sure, she is interested in me. I went there the next day. This time a guy brought coffee with a heart, which surprised me a little. Then I found out that leaves and foam hearts are just a decoration of the drink, and so they do in many coffee shops.
HR specialists
After the lecture for HR specialists, one of the listeners asks the speaker:
— Interviews take a lot of time. Tell me how you can determine as quickly as possible what kind of person is in front of you
— Idiot or normal?
— Of course. Ask him some simple question. For example: «It is known that Mr. Cook made three trips, during one of them he died. During which one exactly?»
— Can you give some other example? Because my geography was bad at school.
Inclusive models brought Victoria's Secret huge losses and they decided to abandon them
All these enlightened violets promoting inclusive themes cannot understand one thing — almost any fat woman, when she chooses her underpants, will not take underpants in the advertising of which the same fat woman wears, because it is stupidly ugly and once again reminds this fat woman of how she really looks. Only stoned snowflakes with self-conceit, like an Arab sheikh, will seriously believe that a conditional fat woman in a thong is beautiful, they will be accompanied by a few visitors to the relevant sections of porn sites. It is more pleasant for everyone else to choose panties, in the picture with which, a beautiful woman wears, because somewhere inside herself — a fat woman either sees herself that way, or dreams to look that way, or all at once. I'm telling you this with all responsibility, like an ordinary fat woman.
Inclusive models: 🤣
Hypocrisy...
A thinking atheist who lives according to his conscience does not realize how close he is to God. Because he does good without expecting a reward. Unlike the believing hypocrites.
Always remember this
When you watch an interview with a famous person, always remember that perhaps the only thing they really understand is what made them famous in the first place and that's not even a fact…
Here it is, the truth
Many of us believe that drinking alone, walking alone, going to the cinema alone is strange and pitiful. But in fact, it can be an indicator of self-sufficiency of a person who is quite capable of spending time in the company of himself, not depending on other people.