Posts containing allot of text to read. Fall asleep on a toilet
Andy
Andy came home very unhappy and depressed. All he wanted to do was to eat in absolute silence alone.
— What happened? — the father interrupted his son's thoughts.
— We live like homeless people! — the son answered nervously. — All classmates
have a car, a cool phone and a crowd of whores! And we don't have a fucking
thing at all!
Silence hung over the house. After a few minutes, father spoke:
«Listen,» he said to his son, handing him a mug.
...What is it?
— Just, listen.
The son leaned his ear against the mug and heard a hiss.
— And what? — the son asked
— Hissing?
— Hissing.
— It's soda and citric acid! — Father said cheerfully.
— So what? — the son asked.
After a short silence, the father said:
— It doesn't matter how much money you have, son. Why do you need them if you
have a whole ocean in your mug…
After these words, Andy hanged himself.
10 myths about introverts
Myth 1. Introverts don't like to talk.
That's not so. Introverts just don't like to talk when they have nothing to say. They hate chatter. But if an introvert talks about something interesting for himself, he may not shut up for days.
Myth 2. Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with introversion. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of other people. What they really need is a reason to interact. They don't communicate just out of a thirst for communication. If you want to talk to an introvert, just start talking. Don't worry about being polite.
Myth 3. Introverts are rude.
Introverts often do not see the point in dancing with a tambourine around social stroking. They want everyone to be real and honest. Unfortunately, in most situations this is unacceptable, and introverts often feel the pressure of social norms, which depresses them very much.
Myth 4. Introverts don't like people.
On the contrary, introverts highly value their few friends. They can count close friends on the fingers of one hand. And if you're lucky enough to be among them, you've probably got an ally for life. Having once earned respect as a worthwhile person, you have firmly taken your place on this list.
Myth 5. Introverts don't like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts don't like to be in public for TOO LONG. They also tend to avoid the difficulties associated with social activity. They perceive information and experience very quickly, and, as a result, it does not take them much time to get it right. They are ready to go home, “reboot” and make sense of everything that is happening. By the way, rebooting is a vital thing for introverts.
Myth 6. Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts feel great on their own. They think a lot. They are dreaming. They like to develop problems and solve riddles. But they can also be incredibly lonely if they have no one to share their discoveries with. They crave authentic and sincere communication with one person in one unit of time.
Myth 7. Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don't follow the crowd. They prefer to be appreciated for their innovative way of life. They think first of themselves and therefore often challenge the norm. They don't make decisions based on fashion or popularity.
Myth 8. Introverts are indifferent nerds.
Introverts are those people who are initially focused on their inner world, and pay great attention to their thoughts and feelings. This does not mean that they are not able to be aware of what is happening around them, it's just that their inner life is much more exciting and saturated for them.
Myth 9. Introverts do not know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts usually relax at home or in the lap of nature, and not in noisy public places. Introverts do not hunt for thrills and are not adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talk and noise around them, they simply “turn off". Their brains are very sensitive to the neurotransmitter dopamine. Introverts and extroverts have different leading neural pathways. Just consider it.
Myth 10. Introverts can pull themselves together and become extroverts.
A world without introverts would be a world where there are practically no scientists, musicians, artists, poets, directors, doctors, mathematicians, writers and philosophers. It is said that there are many techniques through which an extrovert can learn to interact with introverts. (Yes, now I am deliberately swapping these terms to show how biased our society is). Introverts cannot “pull themselves together” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and their contribution to humanity.
About advertisement shit
Some people(not allot) ask me, «Man, your site looks good, where is the people?»
Well, it's really simple answer to that and allot of how I personally feel about it. I fucking hate advertisement. Is it important? Yea, I guess, if you look at statistics. But what about feeling? Fuck feelings? Exactly.
This is what advertisement is, putting a long hard cock on how you feel about it. On TV, constant commercials. 5 min of screen time and 3 min of annoying, cringe garbage they are pushing over and over. Internet is same fucking shit.
* Please «log in» popups.
* Consent to our garbage cookies.
* Videos playing out of nowhere
* Accept out terms and agreements popups
* Unskippable video ads
* Blank on-click window pop ups.
And many, MANY more...
I personally never bought or used anything I see that is advertised. Not even gonna visit a site that is being pushed on me. Fuck that.
We need a scenario where a person who created an AD or a product owner is locked in a room with a TV on, that will play their AD 24/7 for 3 days straight(and that's light). After that he/she will be asked a question about whether they like that product or not? Serve them with their own medicine.
There you have it, why no body is here. Does that mean all of this if for no reason? Nah, there is always a reason…
American Greed tragedy
I'm sure almost everyone seen the show «American greed». It describes financial schemes cooked up by various individuals. It traces the entire story from the beginning to the end. 99% of the stories are about Ponzi schemes.
And you sopose to feel bad for people that invest their entire life savings and loose it all at the end. But, what the fuck for? You are a greedy fucking fool.
Majority of them as you can see live in a big ass house and have half of a million dollars laying around for retirement. I'm 100% sure was an inheritance in the first place. Only a fool who didn't earn this money will be willing to part with them so easily.
So, you are all set for life, but u want more, more, more. Someone offers you investment at 25%. A 25 fucking % (should be a red flag on it's own). You jump on it, you invest $10,000, than 20,000, get a few returns back and you are hooked like a fucking gambling junky. Instead of playing it safe and gamble with $50,000 out of half of million that you have, you invest More and More. The more you invest the more you get back. Now you invested it ALL!!!
Boom, it crashes. You fucked up. Now you have to sell the big fancy house. Now you have to go back to work full time. Sitting there blaming a person who «promised» you. When you should be blaming your self. No body was putting gun to your head. No body forced you to gamble. You did not gamble responsibly at all. You parted with your money so freely and easily, since you didn't earn it in the first place. You didn't deserve it. Fuck you.
You would think this people are in their 50's, been through life, KNOW that the world is full of scam, be a little bit more careful? Fuck no. It's the greed...
Office life. An awkward situation
Preface: People in offices are divided into two types -
First type is those who are already in the toilet
Second is the one who goes to the bathroom.
The first type, while in the toilet, hears someone pulling the toilet handle, then quietly «finishes» his business and tries to quietly leave the toilet so that no one would guess that he was in the toilet.
The second type, after pulling the handle of the «occupied» toilet, quietly tries to leave so that the first one does not notice him.
One day at work, I was in the bathroom, sitting quietly, when suddenly the accounting department almost completely showed up there.
From the first seconds, it became clear that the ladies had come here to have a discussion about a person and his idiotic management of the company, and they went through the deputy, through all the tops, discussed some intrigues, God knows what. They didn't bother to check the presence of anyone in the booths, so they talked… that is, they spoke openly, without being shy about expressions and details.
I was as quiet as a mouse, hoping that they wouldn't notice me, because they don't leave any witnesses alive.
And considering that I wasn't interested in this information, I didn't want to die for nothing (of course, no one would kill me, but a good relationship could be buried).
And when all the bones were washed, one lady decided to get into my booth, but it was locked.
I kept my legs tucked under me, so that God forbid I wouldn't be identified by my shoes. There was a deathly silence, during which comprehension took place.
The ladies began to whisper in shock, realizing what kind of shit they might have gotten into with their secrets.
I held the door open with my hand and coughed a little just in case, so they wouldn't think it was jammed. The siege lasted for some time, then the accounting department left the toilet one by one, but only a fool would not have realized that the toilet door would be monitored.
And so it was, the accounting department strolled along the corridor, keeping the door to the ill-fated office in sight. They walked like this for a very long time, but they didn't do anything. The identity of the mysterious witness remained undisclosed.
This was because the toilet was on the ground floor, very low, and there was a window in it.
Quiz: Are you a moral freak?
How do you see the world of the future? Let's say in 200-300 years…
1. By that time, people will have created a highly spiritual civilization where there will be no place for violence and social injustice. All wars will stop, people will live in peace with each other and nature. And super-light spaceships will fly to distant stars, where we will meet representatives of friendly alien civilizations who will accept humanity as equals into the Great Space Confederation. — 0 points.
2. Oil reserves will run out, we will cut down forests, pollute the seas and oceans with toxic waste, and we will take a break from radiation sickness and skin cancer. That's, of course, if we don't get killed first by some alien snot with acid instead of blood. - 3 points.
3. The world of the future will be covered with a four—meter layer of shit and radioactive ash… — 5 points.
4. Positronic robots will finally destroy human civilization and will live in happiness and harmony, striving to comprehend the eternal mystery of existence. — 9 points.
What was the phrase that usually ended the fairy tales that your dad used to tell you as a child?
1. «And they began to love, live, and make good money ...» — 0 points.
2. «Cinderella cried and cried for her lost shoe, and then went to the river and drowned herself...» — 2 points.
3. «Since then, every night a Black Hand came out of a spot on the wall of an abandoned house and flew to strangle sleeping children.» — 5 points.
4. «And that's when the vile, dirty homeless dismembered a small, homeless dog, devoured its insides and sucked the bone marrow out of its paws...» — 12 points.
5. «Remember the main thing, good fellow,» Baba Yaga said, «In the initialization section, in addition to filling in the working vector, you should also install a multiplex interrupt handler!» — 17 points.
What do you usually use to make a campfire in nature?
1. Birch bark and brushwood are the helpers of a real boy scout! — 0 points.
2. Heh, you should know how well the Criminal Code of the USA and the Declaration of Human Rights are burning… — 3 points.
3. The shinbone of a virgin, soaked in the blood of six Christian babies, flashes on a full moon if it is placed on the grave of a cursed witch and a spell is cast summoning the supreme demon Seth… — 10 points.
Imagine that you invited a young girl you liked to your house. She's a virgin, and this is your second date. So, your actions:
1. I'll give her tea, introduce her to mom, and show her our family photos. — 0 points.
2. Heh, no girl can resist my charm. Of course I'll try to seduce her. — 1 point.
3. I'll feed her vodka until she loses consciousness and have sex in the style of «minimal techno». — 5 points.
4. I'll add five or six doses of horse pathogen to the girl's glass, and then I'll invite all my friends and acquaintances to abuse her. I'll tape the whole thing on camera myself, so that I can sell the film for a lot of money to some illegal bourgeois porn site… — 8 points.
What do you think is the best way to get rid of nasty grannies with carts?
1. Dirty bastard, how could you say such an abomination! — 0 points.
2. It is necessary to forcibly implant special chips connected to detonators in the grandmother's skull, which are activated after the old woman reaches the age of 70. The chip will scan the body's condition and immediately initiate an explosion as soon as it detects that the grandmother has rolled her ugly cart on wheels somewhere. — 2 points.
3. AAGRRRR! Give me a baseball bat soon! — 4 points.
4. We need to announce on radio that we will leave alive only the granny who will kill everyone else. — 10 points.
Have you ever lost your temper with anger and irritation?
1. No, of course not — I always try to control myself. After all, we live in a society, and we need to respect other people. — 0 points.
2. Yeah, man, after that party at the Tunnel. I go to the subway in the morning, and there are all these vile alcoholics with distorted faces; sweaty, fat, huge aunts and other vile freaks with sallow faces. Why didn't I have a chainsaw with me then: I would have hacked at the hands clinging to the handrails with a scream, turned everything into bloody mincemeat! — 4 points.
3. In general, I think that it is necessary to establish a law according to which everyone will have the right to shoot someone in the back of the head with a Magnum once in their life. Then people would communicate with each other much more politely… — 7 points.
What kind of song are you playing in your head right now?
1. «I have happiness, I'll give it to you… I'll give you half of it...» — 0 points.
2. «I don't have anything.…Because there is nothing...» — 2 points.
3. «However far away. I will always love you · Whatever words I say. I will always love you» — 3 points.
4. «Frank-Sinatra---Suck my dick Kiss my ass...» — 5 points.
5. «Every cop is a criminal» — 10 points.
There's a poster above your bed that says:
1. «Jesus loves you!» — 0 points.
2. «Achievements of chemistry — for life!» — 3 points.
3. «Prisoner, remember: good behavior is your closest path to early release!» — 5 points.
4. «SAVE THE PLANET — KILL YOURSELF!» — 14 points.
How many pieces do you usually dismember corpses into?
1. What is it? — 0 points.
2. Six, of course, is there any other way? — 2 points.
3. This is a woman's job! A real man only has to eat the heart of a slain enemy, first tearing it out of his chest! — 7 points.
4. Dismembering… fie, how rude! By the way, I have a tank with concentrated hydrochloric acid at home… — 8 points.
The most common words you use in conversation are the following:
1. Work, family, big laundry — 0 points.
2. Blood, hate, shit, cum — 2 points.
3. Kick in, coke, orgy, overdose — 7 points.
4. Politics, oligarchs, president, faction — 10 points.
5. Plato, Nietzsche, transcendent, robotics — 21 points.
Results:
0 points: Rope and soap are sold at the hardware store around the corner…
1-80 points: You have a strong moral core inside: you will never allow yourself to fart in the presence of a lady or score a joint with dope in front of the Ministry of Internal Affairs of the USA. But you can't turn off the slippery slope of moral decay, my friend: that's a fact!
81-190 points: As a child, you witnessed how a homeless drunk raped a small pet hamster — this event caused your moral decline. Yes, you are a pimp and a pusher of necrophiliac porn. Nevertheless, once a month you take out a video tape from your hiding place with the recording of the film «But I'm a Cheerleader» and cry because you are unable to contain your unrequited love for Natasha Lyonne.…
190 — 259 points: Rope and soap are sold at the hardware store around the corner…
3 Reasons Why Men Stopped Conquering Women
Do you know what the main complaint of modern women to men is? It sounds something like this — the stronger sex does not want to conquer us anymore, as before! Indeed, why do the guys see absolutely no point in these actions? In my opinion, everything is simple — in the eyes of modern men, there is a strong disappointment in women.
But if you look at the problem even deeper, the reasons for this behavior are caused by the following:
1. Modern girls in the pursuit of a beautiful life have lost control of their minds and emotions. It's just that men realized: it's not so difficult to achieve physical intimacy (money to help), but it's impossible to gain power over a woman's mind and emotions! If there is no emotional intimacy, then what is the point of everything? Why then seek, if you can be content with a one-time relationship? When building relationships with modern women, men cannot simply understand one thing, the most important thing — that a woman belongs only to him and not only in body, but also in soul! But how to explain this to an arrogant person!
2. We have lost family values! Every year there is a feeling that family values have gone irrevocably! In return, men got available women! Men have stopped appreciating women who sit at home and wait for them, casting curious glances at other people whose social responsibility bar is lowered. As they say, a righteous person is a righteous person, and a walking person is a walking person. And there are no righteous left, especially among women! Money and power rule the world, and dreams of a beautiful, exorbitant life stupefy the head!
3. We are used to living alone. Being alone together is a typical picture of modern life! Men simply do not understand why it is difficult for women to support, listen and give warmth in return! Every man for himself! Meanwhile, women, even though they deny it with all their might, lack a shoulder next to her that she will call her man!
The more arrogant and arrogant a woman is, the more primitive she looks in the eyes of modern men. And it makes you terribly sad and you begin to understand why the «knights on white horses» have been transferred. They are there, but they have «given up» because they cannot find a woman who is worthy of trust.
25 laws of life that explain a lot
1. Murphy's Law
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
According to this principle, if something bad can happen, then it will definitely happen. At the same time, the worst of the possible unpleasant situations will happen.
2. Meskimen's Law
There is never enough time to do a good job. But it is always there to redo everything.
And it happens. We postpone an important task until the last moment, then we deal with it somehow and spend much more on redoing it.
3. Poe's law
Without a smiling smiley face or any other obvious sign of humor, it is impossible to joke about sharp topics so that at least someone does not take it seriously.
Any joke or parody on a hot topic is bound to be perceived by someone as a true statement.
4. Ettore's Observation
The line next to you always moves faster.
Even if there are five people in it with full carts, and in yours there are only two with a bottle of water and a pack of pasta. Either the cash register breaks down, or one of them starts counting out the change.
5. Khleid's Law
Assign a difficult task to a lazy employee. He will find the easiest way to solve it.
He will just be too lazy to complicate his work.
6. The Law of Search
You need to start the search from the most inappropriate place.
If you don't expect to find scissors in the laundry basket, maybe that's where they are.
7. Hanlon's Razor
Never explain with malicious intent what can easily be explained by stupidity.
First, look for the reason in human mistakes and only then think that the person did something on purpose, out of bad intentions.
8. Pareto's Law
20% of the effort gives 80% of the result, the remaining 80% of the effort is only 20% of the result.
The ratio of effort and result is unequal: 20% of customers bring the company 80% profit, and 80% of the time spent on current tasks will bring only 20% benefit. And so it is in every area of life.
9. Parkinson's Law
The work fills the time allotted for it.
You can complete a task in one day, but you have set a week for it. And you'll be working on it for a week.
10. Lerman's Law
Any technical problem can be solved if there is enough time and money.
Lerman's corollary: you will always run out of time or money.
11. Sturgeon's Revelation
90% of anything is nonsense.
If you are told that 90% of your thesis is nonsense, remember that this applies not only to your writing.
12. Peter's Principle
Competent employees, climbing the career ladder, reach their level of incompetence.
According to this principle, sooner or later a person will find himself in a position that he cannot cope with.
13. Gumperson's Law
The probability of achieving the desired result is inversely proportional to the strength of desire.
When you are late for work, you get stuck in traffic, buses break down, you have to walk. But if you decide to take a walk, then these buses will pass by you one by one.
14. Finagle's Fourth Law
If the work goes wrong, then any attempt to save the situation will only make it worse.
Sometimes the best is the enemy of the good.
15. Chisholm's Third Law
People don't understand sentences the way the person who makes them does.
Even if you express a thought clearly and clearly, someone will interpret it in their own way.
16. The axiom of Kahn and Orben
If nothing else helps, read the instructions.
For some reason, it is remembered too late.
17. The Law of Ould and Kahn
The effectiveness of the meeting decreases in proportion to the increase in the number of participants and the time spent on it.
Prolonged meetings with a large number of people discussing often lead to nothing.
18. Hendrickson's Law
If the problem requires repeated meetings, they will eventually become more important than the problem itself.
And, perhaps, it will not be solved.
19. The Law of Writing
As soon as you seal the envelope or drop the letter in the mailbox, an important thought will immediately come to your mind.
In the case of emails, of course, everything is simpler. You can send the second one after that — it won't take much time.
20. The McMahon Rule
It doesn't matter what exactly you are looking for on the Internet. At least one porn site will fall under your search criteria.
Okay, Google.
21. The law of career for women
Think like a man, act like a lady, work like a horse.
And don't forget to cook a delicious dinner!
22. The first law of correction
Information that involves reworking the project will be received by the author only when all the drawings have already been completed.
An important part of the work has already been done, but who cares? Except for you, who spent a lot of time on it.
23. The law of selective gravity
If you drop an item, it will fall so as to cause as much damage as possible.
Or it will roll into the farthest corner, from where it is almost impossible to get it.
24. Zimerga's Law of Voluntary Labor
A person always agrees to take up a job when it is no longer necessary.
Because, most likely, he won't have to do anything.
25. Richard's Rule of Interdependence
Anything you keep for a long time can be thrown away. But once you throw it away, you'll need it.
Living in America has become unbearable!
In general, I live in America and lately I have been hearing more and more often from Americans that living in the USA is becoming prohibitively expensive.
In addition to this, the other day I came across a post on the Internet where Americans discussed what things suddenly moved from the category of “any homeless person can afford it” to the category of “well, maybe I'll buy it someday”
Fried chicken wings
The fact is that until the 90s, chicken wings were not considered meat at all. Butcher shops simply threw them away or gave them to someone very cheaply, like giblets.
In the 90s, many fast food chains realized that it was possible to buy such meat for cheap and earn money from it. So since the 90s, for a long time the price of wings has been around 10-30 cents per wing.
These are the prices that many Americans remember, who in college took a couple of beers and a bucket of wings for 2-3 dollars.
Of course, I did not catch this, but even 5 years ago I often took chicken wings at a price of $6 for 8 pieces (80 cents per piece). Now 8 wings cost $15 (almost $2 per wing)
Bowling
Bowling has always been considered the entertainment of the working class, and therefore was very cheap. Think of any American movie from the 80s-90s. Where does a guy relax with friends after work? Of course, in the bowling alley. You pay a couple of dollars for the game, take a beer at the bar for five and have a pretty good evening.
Currently, a bowling trip for two can cost around $50-100.
Fortunately, there are still places in the «bumblefuck» of America where prices have not changed much since the 90s. I've found bowling for $5 myself. Unfortunately, not only the prices, but everything else has not changed since the 90s — old balloons, worn-out interior, worn and smelly shoes for rent.
Movie tickets
It's exactly the same story as with bowling. It was $1-2 for a ticket, it became $15-25 + a bucket of popcorn with cola will cost the same amount.
Concert tickets
As some Americans recall, in the 90s it was possible to deliver newspapers after school on a bike and easily earn money for a concert of your favorite band, and more than once a month.
Now concert tickets have become a real luxury. Firstly, ticket sales are essentially handled by one company that has monopolized the market. Secondly, prices have already soared for everything.
That year, I took Pink tickets at a price of $200 per ticket somewhere at the back of the hall. The first rows cost $1500-3000 each.
Seriously, even if Pink sings sitting on my lap, well, that's $500 maximum (After all, she's not young anymore).
And if you only knew how much tickets for Taylor Swift cost. Google it for fun. Many Americans fly to her concerts in other countries, because even with a flight and a hotel, it is twice cheaper than going to her concert in the USA.
Tacos
In the old days, there were vans on every corner where Latinos sold tacos for $0.5 — $1. Now one taco costs $5
Since I love tacos, I sincerely do not understand why I should take 3 tacos for $20 (with taxes and tips) in some trailer when I can take them for the same price in a restaurant.
Thrift Stores
An era has passed when a used thing could be bought many times cheaper. Now, with the development of the Internet, a crowd of online resellers has appeared, which buys up everything that is of at least some value and resells it at a margin.
eBay has turned from an online flea market of used items into a trading platform for resale and online stores.
Thrift shops and second-hand shops have begun to inflate prices, as a crowd of overbought people runs in there in search of rarities.
If earlier, in the absence of money, it was necessary to go only to the second-hand store, now it does not hurt to compare prices first. Perhaps a new thing in the same Walmart will cost just a little more than a used one in Goodwill (this is a chain of second-hand stores)
Real estate
There's nothing to discuss here. American grandfathers bought houses for a «bag of corn», and now they cost millions of dollars. For old times' sake, local grandfathers continue to tell their grandchildren, “Work hard and then you can also buy yourself a house, like I did in my youth!“. No. No one will be able to buy a house just by working. After all, you are the one who fucked up our economy.
Apparently, an entire era is coming to an end. The America that we saw in childhood in American films is gradually changing. An ordinary American will no longer be able to drive to school in a Chevrolet Camaro, and after college buy himself a two-story house, 2 cars and start a family of 3-4 children. Now it's more like middle-class life.
Guys, why are you donating to OnlyFans models?
1. My kink is getting teased, mislead and scammed out of my money while receiving low quality pics, shorts and spam advertising in exchange.
2. Because I don't have a personal life, I don't meet new people and I spend more time at work than anywhere else. If $5 helps me feel less lonely, then why not.
3. My friend is in the top 10% on OnlyFans, and she told me about the strange requests she received. For example, she was paid $300 for a video where she sneezes from a certain angle, filming it in a POV style, as if she sneezes in a guy's face.
4. It's hard to find girls who like the same things as me. And those who like the same things as me are very often not the ones I would like to meet in real life.
5. Because I am addicted to porn and have always felt a huge attraction to ordinary women. Not to those typical porn actresses with comically big tits and silicone asses, but to women who can be found in everyday life — for example, in a store, or at work.
6. Because that top chan from school who was so inaccessible is now urinating in her panties for money. I never thought I'd see her like this before. It was worth that $5.
7. To support the arts.
8. Because I can't go on dates anymore and haven't been physically close to anyone for many years. I'm a middle—aged man, I don't have the time or money for dating, and dating itself is shit right now. Besides, I live in a rural area where there is stupidly no one to meet.
9. I know that I am a loser, and there is a high probability that I am writing to a bot or its assistant, but the very illusion of communication is pleasant to me. Better than a complete lack of attention from women.
10. Because I want to see content created by specific girls. So if it's inexpensive, why not? Besides, I like the feeling that I'm supporting an ordinary person. I wouldn't donate to a porn company, but if it's a girl trying to make ends meet, then that's a completely different matter.
Hooray! Everything is read.
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